"Man
can marry four - why not women marry four?"
Date:
Tuesday, March 02 @ 15:11:59 HST
Topic: Harsh Questions asked by Non-Muslims
From: Islam
Always .com
Bismillah Rahman Raheem
RE: Question - "Islam gives man permission
to marry four wives. Why can't a woman have four
husbands?
Answer
- Al Hamdulilah, was-salat
was-salam ala rasoolullah. Allahu 'Alim.
(It is Allah who has All Knowledge).
Rights
and Limits
First
of all, it is important for us to keep in mind
that Islam came to establish two very important
fundamentals for human beings:
Rights and Limits.
Everyone
and everything has certain rights given to it
by the Creator and Sustainer of the universe (Allah).
At the same time, each creation has its own limitations
established by Allah.
First
Right - Allah has the right to be worshipped
without making partners from what He has created.
Direct worship to Him, alone.
Second
Right - Prophet's right to be followed
according to his treaching and commandments.
Third
Right - Parents rights to be honored
and cared for, with special emphasis on the mother
first.
Fourth
Right - Wives and Husbands have rights
on each other.
Conditions
1,400 Years Ago
Now let
us do some basic research here. We begin by looking
into the condition of the women in various societies
at the time 1,400 years ago when Allah revealed
the Quran to Muhammad, peace be upon him.
Pagan
Arabs - Burying Girls Alive
During
that time the pagan Arab men used to bury their
newborn daughters alive in the sand, out of shame
for having something so low and disgusting like
a girl instead of a son. Women were treated horribly
and with utter disgust.
Men could
marry as many as they liked and very often they
owned women like cattle or sheep. There were no
laws to protect the women and they had no rights
at all.
Christians
- Arguing If Women Had Souls
Christians
at that time were holding council meetings to
determine whether or not a woman even had a soul.
The church blamed "Eve" the mother of all humans
after Adam, peace be upon him, for the "original
sin" and damned her and her seed for what she
had done.
Priests
- Best Men - Forbidden Marriage - To Any Women
Priests,
bishops, cardnels and even the Pope are the very
best of the Catholic men within the church. Yet
the church still forbids their clergymen the chance
for marriage and families. This unnatural situation
has caused very serious ramifications throughout
the society around the world.
Nuns
- Best Women - No Marriage - No Children
Nuns are
the very best of the Catholic women. They cover
themselves in proper attire much the same way
as the Muslim women. Yet, they are never allowed
to marry or have children throughout their lives.
This unnatural condition has caused untold number
of disgraceful and disgusting practices within
the very church itself.
If
Only Bad People Have Children - What About Tomorrow?
We must
ask the question, "If the very best of the
men and the very best of the women are not allowed
to marry or have children - does this mean only
the worst of the people are the ones allowed to
reproduce and populate the world?" - And
where will that leave us tomorrow?
Jews
- Blame Women and Curse Women
The Jews
blamed women for the "original sin" and as
such they were treated with disgust. A woman's
monthly cycle was considered by the Old Testament
of the Bible to be a "curse from God" for her
inequities. Her child bearing pains were also
a 'punishment from God' for her bringing man down
from heaven.
Islam
- No Blame On Women For Evil
Islam does
not blame Eve for Adam's sin. Each of them accepted
their own mistake and repented to Allah, and asked
Allah to forgive them and Allah did forgive them.
Now before
going any further, please read surah An Nisa (chapter
4 in the Quran) - all the way through, in order
to better understand what is actually being said
about women, men and marriage.
[Want
A FREE Quran? - click
here]
Read
Quran
Now let
us think about the verses. Do you believe that
Allah Knows what He created and He has revealed
the perfect 'deen'? Do you know the condition
of the people at the time the order came to restrict
the number of wives? (Restricted to be only four)
Now read
the verse about having more than one wife, very
carefully. [4:3]
What does
it say? And what do you understand from it?
Now read
the ayah (verse) that forbids men to marry women
who are already married. [4:24].
Now read
from An Nisa (Chapter 4) about the role of men
and women. [4:34]
Man
Supports And Protects Women
Do you
understand that one must take on the role of supporter,
protector, provider, custodian and servant to
the family (man's role)?
Woman Gives Birth
- Raises Children
One must
take on the role of carrying the child and delivering
it and then feeding it and raising it to become
a true servant of Allah (woman's role).
Not
Equal - But Treated Fairly In Justice
Men and
women are not the same nor are they "equal"
as some folks would have us believe. Whatever
is on one side of an 'equals' sign must be exactly
the same as what is on the other side without
any difference in value, only in the way that
it is expressed. How then could we say that a
man, who is unable to conceive or give birth and
then breast feed a baby is the equal to a woman
who can?
Equal
In Faith And Actions
They are
equal in their beliefs and good deeds of course.
But still they are not the same as each other.
Each one must fulfill their role as humans.
Children's
Rights Protected
Islam is
also very much about rights. Children also have
rights in Islam. When a man dies his wealth is
left to his family. How could the court know who
to give the wealth of a man, if he was one of
several husbands to a woman? How would a child
know who his father was? No society ever supported
the concept of a woman being married to two or
more men at the same time.
Women's
Right - Best Treatment
Almost
every society supported the concept of a man having
more than one woman. Yet, they did not limit the
number nor did they provide the protection and
maintenance that Islam insists on for each one.
Islam came to set things straight. Women were
given rights. Men were strictly ordered to treat
their women with the very best of treatment.
Limit
- Number in Marriage
When the
verse was revealed the companions of Muhammad,
peace be upon him, did not run out with the attitude
that they were going to get four wives all of
a sudden. Some of them already had much more than
that and these men had to divorce their wives,
if they had more than four. So this was not an
order to go out and get four wives. It was an
order to begin limitations. And the first limitation
was; No more than four.
Limit
- Equal Maintenance and Treatment
Second,
the limitation of equal treatment for all of them.
How could a man keep more than one wife unless
he was exceedingly wealthy and/or exceedingly
strong and virile?
Next, the
limitation very clearly states; "..
but if you fear that you shall not be able to
deal justly (with them) then only one ..."
Muslims
Today - Most Monogamous
Step by
step, the men of Islam have come to be known today
as the most monogamous of all men on earth (we
only have one wife). Check for yourself and see.
In the majority of all the Muslim homes on earth,
a man gets married once, to one woman and then
he stays married to her until the death of either
himself or his wife.
Woman's
Right To Choose Any Husband She Likes -
Even If He Is Already Married
One very
important point that is often overlooked by modern
society is the right that Islam gave to the women
that it does not give to the man. A man is limited
to marry only from the woman who is not already
married. Obviously, this provides rights for the
children and provides for them from inheritance
from the father. But Islam also permits the women
to marry a man who is already married to protect
her in a society where the number of women outnumbers
the population of men. Additionally, the woman
has a large selection of men to choose from. In
fact, she has the right to choose from any man
in the community as long as he does not already
have four wives. She also has the opportunity
to see how the other wife was being treated and
go into a marriage knowing exactly what to expect
from her husband. After all, he must treat her
in the same way as he is treating the other wife.
Women
Need Husbands - Allah Provided the Answer
The prophet,
peace be upon him, predicted that in the Last
Days the women would outnumber the men to a great
extent. Today we are seeing this become a reality
all over the world. Allah has already provided
for us for this occasion. After all, He is the
One who makes it all happen and He already knew
that many women would come into Islam in these
days. He also knew many of the Muslim men would
be killed or die at an early age, just as it is
happening these days. These women all need husbands.
Allah has given us the solution to all of life's
problems.
Women's
Right to Vote - 1,400 Years Ago
We might
add that Islam also gave the women full status
as citizens over 1,400 years ago by giving her
to right to speak and vote the same as anyone
else. American women had to take their cause to
the streets with "Women's Suffrage"
and were not granted the right to vote until just
ninety years ago.
Women
Keep Their Identity - And Their Names
Additionally,
Islam protected women's rights to keep their identity
and they were not considered property of some
man. As such, they were no longer forced to change
their last names to be that of their husbands.
This is still the practice of Muslim women today
just as it was fourteen hundred years ago.
Women
Keep Their Property And Earnings - Men Must Share
Yet, at
the same time the western society is so concerned
about the way Islam demands that a couple be married,
the man actually must work instead of the woman;
the woman owns her own property without giving
anything for the support of the house or the child;
a child has the right to his or her own mother
raising them instead of a baby sitter or day care;
father must support his children; divorce is hated;
and marriage is sanctified.
West
Can't Tolerate Man And Woman - In Marriage
It is
strange isn't it, a society like America, has
no problem accepting sex without marriage; homosexuality;
same sex marriages; sex without responsibility;
children without fathers; and divorces are more
common place than the measles or chicken pox.
Yet, there is no tolerance for marriage between
a man and a woman if it is not on their terms.
What
Needs to Be Re-evaluated?
Compare
the two for yourself and see which one needs correction.
We
will be waiting to hear from you. May Allah Bless
you all and increase you in all that is good,
ameen.
Jazakumallahu
khairan was salam alaykum,
Yusuf Estes
National Muslim Chaplain
http://www.islamtomorrow.com/
For information on how priests and preachers are
coming to Islam: www.IslamTomorrow.com/yusuf/
