My name is Yusuf Estes and
I am a retired chaplain for the United States Bureau of
Prisons. I wasn�t always a chaplain and I wasn�t always
a Muslim.
The fact is that I was
raised as a strong Protestant Christian, born in Ohio,
raised and educated in Texas
and was a successful marketing entrepreneur and preacher
of Christianity for almost 50 years.
�My
ethnic background is English, Irish and German and a little
American Indian. I was what they called a �WASP�
(white, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant). My family moved
to Texas
in 1949 while I was still in grade school, so my accent
changed from �Yankee� to �Texan� real quick.
We learned how to say, �ya�ll� instead of, �youse
guys� and �Howz ever thaang?� instead of �Waz
up?� We also learned how to eat �Corn bread �n
bains� instead of �Johnny cakes and beans.�
I grew up in a very religious home. My
parents and their relatives were all �good Christians.�
Basically that means that you never drink alcohol, except
on very special occasions and never gamble expect Bingo
at the church. Religion was a real part of my life. I
believed very much in God and the Bible as His Word. While
other children were playing �school� and �cops and robbers�
I would sometimes play the �Preacher.� I can still remember
my first sermon, standing on the ground in Doug Hidemen�s
backyard: �We must learn the Way of God! And then stay
on that Way.� (That�s all I said. I couldn�t think
of anything else)
My whole family on both my mother�s and
father�s sides were very active members of the same denomination
of Protestant Christianity. We all loved to go to church
on Sunday mornings for Sunday school and sermon (well
maybe we didn�t all love the long sermons). Then
of course, special activities and holidays such as Easter,
Christmas, Halloween and parties were always a part of
our lives in my early years. Our church was originally
called only �Christian Church.� It wasn�t until I turned
10 or 12 years old that the church �split� into two different
groups that we started calling ourselves �Disciples
of Christ.�
My father was a full time businessman
and an ordained minister at the same time. He was also
very active in church work, as a Sunday school minister
and fund raiser for Christian schools. He was the �expert�
in the Bible having read it all the way through for the
first time, while still only a young boy. It was through
my father that I came to know about the various versions,
translations and editions of the Bible as well as the
introduction of pagan worship to Christianity at the time
of the Emperor Constantine (325 C.E.). He, like many preachers
would answer the question: �Did God actually write the
Bible?� by saying: �The Bible is the Inspired Word
of Man FROM GOD.� Basically, it means that humans
(inspired humans, but humans just the same) wrote the
Bible. That quickly explains the errors, mistakes, deletions
and additions which have crept in and fell out of the
Book over the years. He would add: �But it is still
the Word of God, as inspired to man.�
God was frequently on my mind. I was
�baptized� into the �Spirit� at age 12 and surprised
even the minister (an ex-Jew who accepted Jesus) by my
seriousness and intent on being a �full real follower
of Christ.� I would think about Him and what He wanted
us to do and why He created us in the first place, very
often. Many times I would be caught �day dreaming� about
God when I was supposed to be paying attention to other
things, like watching the pots boil over on the stove
or not listen to the teachers at school. Sometimes I would
rest my head on my arms on the top of my desk and try
to imagine: �What will happen when we die?� and �What
will Heaven be like?� or �Can we ever see God�s angels
or the devil?�
My mind was frequently preoccupied
with these types of thoughts as a child. But then as with
most youth, I became distracted from my pursuit and began
to be influenced by my peers. Other children would make
fun of me if I talked about these questions and thoughts,
so it seemed like a good idea to keep it to myself. No
problem. I like to be alone with my thoughts of God anyway.
After growing up and
owning many businesses, I realized that I did not want
to be a �preacher.� I was too afraid that I might be a
hypocrite or call people to something that I myself didn�t
truly understand. After all, I had �accepted the Lord�
and considered myself a true Christian, but at the same
time I could not resolve the idea of God being One and
at the same time He is �Three.� And if He is the �Father�,
how could He also be the �Son?� And then, I asked myself,
�What about the �Holy Ghost?� (In later versions of the
Bible, they changed �Ghost� to �Spirit�).� But my big
question was always the same: �How do three equal one?�
Over the years I had
tried to �find� God in many different ways. I checked
out Buddhism, Hinduism, metaphysics, Taoism, different
forms of Christianity and Judaism. The one most attractive
to me was a combination of vegetarian from Hindu mixed
with Gnosticism (Christian mysticism) and Cabbalism (Jewish
mysticism) and metaphysics. This actually is a form of
pantheism (God being throughout His creation) and is similar
to some of the �Sufi� mystics of today. But this concept
in its entirety ultimately repulsed me because I did not
want to imagine myself as being a �part of God.�
"God is Pure! God
is Perfect! God is All Knowing and All Aware of all things!"
So, how can I come along and say things like I was hearing
from the other preachers: �In a way, we are all
gods. It�s in the Bible.�
So, I read the Bible; �You are
gods, sons of the Most High, all of you; nevertheless,
you shall die like men, and fall like any prince.�
(Quoted from the Old Testament; Psalms [82:6]) & �I
said, you are gods�
[New Testament John 10:34]
The rationalization which comes about
in the books attributed to the Apostle Saul (changed his
name to Paul), are full of statements which basically
cancel the Torah or Law of the Old Testament. He makes
it a matter of how you �understand� something that makes
it �permissible� or �forbidden.� As an example in the
English Revised Standard Version which I have carried
with me since 1953, it says in Paul�s letter to the Romans:
�I know and am persuaded in the Lord
Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but it is unclean
for any one who thinks it unclean.�
[Rom 14:14]
And again, in the same letter:
�So do not let what is good to you
be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom
of God
does not mean food and drink but righteousness and peace
and joy in the Holy Spirit.�
[Rom 14:16]
By these types of statements, Paul pretty
much destroys the entire Old Testament Commandments. Yet
at the same time, in the same English version of the Bible
in the first book of the New Testament, we are told that
Jesus preached a message which was exactly the opposite
of St. Paul:
�Think not that I have come to abolish
the law and the prophets; I have come not to abolish them
but to fulfil them. For truly, I say to you, till heaven
and earth shall pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will
pass from the law until all is accomplished. Whoever then
relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches
men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven;
but he who does them and teaches them shall be called
great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you, unless
your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees,
you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.� [Mt.
5:17-20]
So according the St.
Paul�s own testimony in his letter
to the new Roman Christians, he is relaxing not just the
least of these commandments, but basically all of these
commandments. And he justifies everything with his rationalization
that if you don�t think it�s bad, then it�s not!
I just felt that something was wrong
in this message and decided to try to uphold the Commandments
according to the Old Testament as much as I could. That
would mean: No Pork; circumcision; no sex outside of
marriage; no adultery; worship on Saturday (not Sunday)
and most important of all: No worship of anything which
is in the creation.
This is in direct line with the verse
which says: �You shall have no other gods before (besides)
me. You shall not make yourself a graven image, or any
likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that
is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under
the earth; you shall not bow down to them or serve them,
for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the
iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third
and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing
steadfast love to thousands who love me and keep my commandments.�
[Ex 20:3-6]
It seemed reasonable to me,
that there should only be One God. He should be All in
Charge and without any partners. Reason also would demand
that only He should be given any worship because He Alone
deserves it. And as God, He should be the One to set the
rules and give the orders. Then it would be clear who
really loved Him and who was following His Commandments.
I had tried not to deal with
these issues for many years. But now I was getting close
to fifty years old and needed to do something for the
Lord. After all, He had done everything for me. So, it
was time for me to get serious about my religion and make
some head way for the Lord. I decided to join in with
some of my friends who were evangelists and preachers
who preached in various parts of the country and even
in Mexico.
We travelled together and praised the Lord together and
shared in �the spirit� and went where the �spirit lead
us.� One of them use to carry a huge cross on his shoulders
and drag it down the highway and give out little �mini-Bibles�
to those who cared to stop and visit. It was enjoyable
to go to those who had given up hope or had no money or
jobs and give them food, money, assistance and at the
same time call them to the message of Christianity. I
took my Bible everywhere and was very fast to whip it
out and begin to �preach the message.�
I was �born again.� I needed to �be in
the light of Christ.� I needed to share the �message.�
There was only one problem:
�What is the message?�
Oh sure, I know what some of the �Born
Again Christians� are saying as they read this: �The message
of salvation of Jesus Christ!� � �He died for your sins!�
� �He paid the price of redemption.� � �He is the Risen
Son of God!� � �Jesus is LORD!�
Right! - I got that.
I preached that message myself and thought
I understood it as well as anyone else did. The problem
is when you start to really think about what you are saying.
There are some very serious problems in these teachings
that cannot be resolved and we are told to just �have
faith.�
Then comes, THE QUESTIONS
NOBODY WANTS TO ANSWER - What about the Bible? Who actually
wrote it?
- What
was the original language of the Bible? (Was it Hebrew?
Was it Aramaic? How about Koine Greek?)
NOTE: - The Bible was never in English during the
time of Jesus, peace be upon him, or any prophet (not
even Muhammad, peace be upon him,) - because English
did not exist until after 1066 AD!
- Does
the Bible exist in the original form anywhere on earth?
(No)
- Why
does the Catholic Bible have seven (7) more books than
the Protestant Bible?
- Why
do these two Bibles have different versions of the same
books?
- Why
are there so many mistakes and errors in the Bible from
the very first verse right up to the very last verse?
- Why
do �Born Again Christians� teach concepts that are not
from the Bible?
- There
is no word �Trinity� in the Bible in any version
of any language?
- The
oldest forms of Christianity do not support the �born
again� beliefs. Why?
- Jesus
of the English Bible complains about the �crucifixion.�
Why?
(�Eli! Eli! Lama sabachthani? - My God! My God! Why
have You forsaken me?�) [Mk 15:34]
- How
can Jesus be the �Only Begotten Son� of John 3:16? When
in Psalms 2:7 David is God�s �Begotten Son?�
- Would
a �Just God�, a �Fair God�, a �Loving God� � punish
Jesus for the sins of the people that he called to follow
him?
- What
happens to people who died before Jesus came?
- What
happens to those who never hear this message?
- What
about innocent children who die although their parents
are not Christian?
- Didn�t
God create Adam from dirt? � So, why does he need Mary
to make Jesus?
- What
about God? How can God create Himself?
- How
can a man be a God? How can God be a man? How can God
have a son?
The Bible says, �Enos is the son of Seth, and Seth is
the son of Adam, and Adam is the son of God.�
[Luke 3:36]
- Can�t
God just forgive us and not have to kill Jesus?
- What
about Jesus? Jesus did not even carry the cross � Simon
Cyrene, a passer-by did! [Mk 15:21]
- Jesus
of the Bible was NOT on the cross for longer than six
(6) hours -- NOT three days -- (from the 3rd to the
9th hour) [Mk 15:25 & 15:33]
- Jesus
of the Bible did not spend three days and nights in
the tomb -- Friday night - until Sunday before dawn
-- is only two nights and one day, not 3 days and
nights!
- Jesus
DID NOT claim to be God - or even equal to God!
My friend with the huge cross became
tired of trying to answer all of my questions and in desperation
one day, he told me to read the story of Abraham in Genesis
in the Old Testament; especially the part of sacrificing
his son for the sake of God. He seemed to feel that this
was going to explain the whole concept of sacrifice and
obedience to God.
I read it. � But instead of convincing
me that this was the meaning of punishing the good so
the bad do not have to suffer, I saw a totally different
message here.
Abraham was willing to sacrifice his
son on an altar for the sake of Almighty God, if that
was what God wanted from him. But God did not really want
to take the life of an innocent boy for sins that Abraham
committed. That was not even the story here. And as far
as replacing his son with the ram for sacrifice, this
also does not match the story of Jesus on the cross.
I told myself, �Stop! Think!� � Abraham
was asked by God to sacrifice his son to test the loyalty
of Abraham. He did not withhold his son from God, so God�s
angels ordered him to offer a ram in place of his son.
God was pleased with his total submission and as a result,
God Blessed him and his offspring. [Gen. 22:9-18]
Now think about the New Testament story
of �salvation.� Jesus asked God NOT to put him through
this ordeal.
�Father, if thou art willing, remove
this cup from me; nevertheless not my will, but Yours,
be done.� [Luke 22:42]
Notice in the next verse, an angel from
heaven also appears to Jesus to �strengthen him.� Abraham�s
angel comes to offer a ram as a sacrifice instead of the
son.
The next verse, Jesus is in AGONY as
he prays �more earnestly; and his sweat became like great
drops of blood falling down upon the ground.� [22:44]
Then I looked to the account of the story
in the Book of Mark. Jesus goes to the garden
of Gethsemane
and his soul is; �very sorrowful, even to death.�
And; �Going a little farther, he fell on the ground
prayer that, if it were possible, the hour might pass
from him.� [Mark 14:32-39].
Meaning, somehow when
the time came for the event to take place he could escape
it. This was NOT the submissive attitude
of Abraham.
Next, I noticed in verse
36 of� the same chapter in Mark, Jesus says: �Abba,
Father, all things are possible to thee; remove this cup
from me; yet not what I will, but what thou wilt.�
And then he goes to his disciples and wakes them up and
then returns to pray �... saying the same words.�
This whole concept was
so totally different than the one from Genesis talking
about Abraham and his son.
It seemed the more I asked questions
and delved into �those kinds of stories� the more I would
like to facilitate the truth.
I prayed to God and
asked for answers. Strange things began to happen to me
and those around me, many strange things, very strange.
My father began doing business with a
man from Egypt.
He wanted me to meet this gentle and kind man, a strange
man � a Muslim. I wanted to �convert� this man to Christianity.
He accepted my invitation with a strange challenge.
Some time later I met a Catholic priest
while visiting patients in the Veterans
Hospital in
Dallas, Texas.
He was a heart patient with a strange story. I took the
Muslim with me to meet the priest and things began to
develop in a strange way.
Strange things began to happen, very
strange. Somehow, both the priest and the Muslim ended
up coming to my father�s large home in Midlothian,
Texas, not far from
Dallas to
live with us for some time. They stayed with us there
for several months, working with us, eating with us and
sharing understandings of God, His Creation and His purpose
for mankind � and with strange proofs, very strange.
It all started by praying directly to
God and asking Him for answers. The story is strange,
but it is true. I know, because it happened to me and
my family.
For
the details of this strange story and why so many preachers
and priests are coming to Islam - Read Chapter 2 - by
visiting our website:
www.IslamTomorrow.com/yusuf/
Yours truly,
Yusuf
Estes